Over the last 3 years I have been trying to get into contact with someone from my Mosaic past. She had worked in a ministry that I was apart of. I called those whom I thought she may still be connected with but nobody had her phone number or email. This past year I gave up hope of getting a hold of her and just prayed that she was doing well.
My reasons for wanting to talk with her was to ask her to forgive me. I was apart of pushing her out of the church. The elders and Erwin wanted her out and asked me to be apart of that process. They justified themselves and callously moved on it. I believe they had other motives on why they wanted her out. The ministry she served in was not apart of Erwin's big plans. I didn't see it then but it seems all to clear now.
I allowed that to happen. I participated. I was guilty. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I was confused. I was foolish. I allowed those above me to abuse their power to treat someone badly. Not only was she to be removed but the way it was done was awful. Over the years I felt the guilt of being apart of something so clearly wrong. The way she was dealt with was so ugly. She was treated like an outcast. I wondered what damage we had done to her. Would she walk away from the Church (big C)? Would she stop serving in the areas she was so gifted in? Would she walk away from God?
The good news is she contacted me about a month ago. She had found MOP and started reading. She said she had to take some time to absorb what she was reading, there was a lot to think and pray about. When we first spoke I could hear a little caution in her voice, she was careful. Since then we have had a couple of good conversations getting to know each other again. She is not only walking with God but she has continued to pursue her desires to serve those God has placed a burden on her heart. We spoke about what had happened and she was so gracious to me. She explained how difficult it had been, how confusing it was but how God had brought the right people with the right words to free her from the lies that were told to her. This reminds me of one of Satan's most powerful weapons, confusion. She was able to overcome that.
There is freedom in forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness is a process as sometimes the pain throbs and consequences linger. I believe this person whom I hurt went through a process to get to the point where she forgave as Jesus would forgive. Although I am so glad that she has forgive me, more importantly, for her sake she does not hold it and allow it to grow into bitterness. My hope and prayer is none of those whom have been hurt will hold their hurt to one day bud into bitterness. Rather, to start the process to forgive.